Secret to eternal peace.

"Eternal Peace" refers to a state of perpetual tranquility. It is very much possible to attain this state. This can be achieved through practice and being in knowledge also awareness.
It is a state of mind where you are devoid of thoughts of worries, anxiety, regrets etc., a state of eternally happy inside out.
A true happiness is an inside out factor. Nothing can shake your peace.

Secret to "Eternal Peace" are :

1. Be more forgiving: Do not hold on to any hatred, grudge etc. Forgiveness is the best thing to attain peace in life.

2. Meditation: Start meditating. Meditation brings you to present moment and thus helps to be at peace.

3. Let it go:  Do not worry or be about your future. Do not brood over your past. Things that you cannot control, let it go.

4. Keep Smiling: Smiling helps us to be in our spirit always. This not only lifts up your mood, this is contagious. This makes others also around you happy.

5. Be loving: Only thing that is constant is love. Love moves the world. Love is eternal.

6. Acceptance: Acceptance is the key to be at peace ever. Start accepting the people and situations around you.

7. Do not judge: You never know what is the other person going through unless you have walked on their path. So keep your judgments at bay.

8 Spend sometime with solitude: Every day, preferably mornings spend sometime with self in stillness. Listen to your soul's voice. This act of talking to soul through silence makes you reflect upon and keeps you 'eternally peaceful'

9. Focus on your goals: instead of focusing on things that doesn't matter much, focus on your goals and achieve them and let your success makes noise, not your mind.

Regular practice of above mentioned commandments in life will definitely keep you eternally at peace. You need not go to Himalayas to seek peace.

-Via Geethapriya

Wisdom Quotes

Wisdom is not everyone's cup of tea. A deep and understanding heart and mind is required extensively. Accommodation of true wisdom within yourself, needs strength and will power.

"Wisdom is not a matter of age, Wisdom is the matter of healed wounds"

-Sangeet

Old Memories....

When you walk past the memory lane, a sense of grief and relief tends to overcome your will-power. If right, slither to the right and share and like!!!

उसकी बेमिसाल बेवफाई की मिसालें आज भी दी जाती हैं

-Sangeet

Psych Guides- Anger issues

Anger symptoms and causes:

Anger issues are not limit to teen and it is very important to understand anger symptoms and causes if you suspect you are, or anybody you know as, suffering from an anger disorder. Individuals who have trouble in controlling the anger, or who experience anger outside of normal emotional scope can present with different type of anger disorder.

Anger and resistance directly effects to health:

There are some forms of anger which directly effects on health:

 Chronic anger, which is prolonged, can impact the immune system and be the cause of different mental disorder.
 Passive anger, which does not always come across as anger and can be difficult to identify.
 Over whelmed anger, which caused by life demand that is too much for an individual to cope with.
 Self –inflicted anger, which is directed toward he self and may be caused by feeling of guilt.
 Judgmental anger, which is directed toward other and may come with feeling of resentment.
 Volatile anger, which involves some times spontaneous bouts of excessive or violent anger.

Passive Anger

People experiencing passive anger may not even realize they are angry. When we experience passive anger, our emotions may be displayed as sarcasm, apathy or meanness. We might participate in self-defeating behaviors such as skipping school or work, alienating friends and family, or performing poorly in professional or social situations. Because passive anger may be repressed, it can be hard to recognize; counseling can help we to identify the emotions behind our actions, bringing the object of our anger to light so we can deal with it.

Aggressive Anger

Individuals who experience aggressive anger are usually aware of their emotions, although the true roots of their. In some cases, they redirect violent anger outbursts to scapegoats because it is too difficult to deal with the real problems. Aggressive anger often manifests as volatile or retaliatory anger and can result in physical damages to property and other people. Learning to recognize them and manage anger symptoms is essential to dealing positively with this form of anger.

What Causes Anger?

A leading cause of anger is a person’s environment. Stress, financial issues, abuse, poor social or familial situations, and overwhelming requirements on our time and energy can all
contribute to the formation of anger. As with disorders such as alcoholism, anger issues may be more prevalent in individuals who were raised by parents with the same disorder. Genetics and our body’s ability to deal with certain chemicals and hormones also play a role in how we deal with anger; if our brain doesn’t react normally to serotonin, we might find it more difficult to manage our emotions.

Emotional Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems

We might think the emotional symptoms of anger-related problems are limited to anger, but a number of emotional states could indicate that we are failing to deal with anger in a positive and healthy fashion. Constant irritability, rage and anxiety are possible emotional symptoms.

Physical Symptoms of Anger-Related Problems

Strong emotions often bring about physical changes to the body and anger is no exception. Letting anger issues go unaddressed can put our overall health at risk. Some physical symptoms of anger-related problems include:
 Tingling
 Heart palpitations or tightening of the chest
 Increased blood pressure
 Headaches
 Pressure in the head or sinus cavities
 Fatigue

What type of angry person I am?

I am the type of person, who effects from a little bit of aggressive anger, but nobody injured because I have control on my aggressiveness, I can just hurt myself, if anybody hurt then I will apologize.

- Via Qamer

Depression- an witnessed epidemic

A brief overview of depression

In the recent world of stressful and monotonous work routine, depression is a mental disorder that is coursing through numerous individuals like an unseen epidemic and is indeed a burning problem for the new generation. Now, many people are in denial mode as to what is depression actually and might think that it is a passing problem, but the fact is deep-rooted. It is a phase in which the affected person has a negative approach towards everything he or she thinks or does. The activities that were once enjoyable to the person are so longer of any interest and depression can cause distinction in both physical as well as mental aspect.

How to detect if a person is in depression?

Now that you know what is depression, it is important for you to have an in-depth knowledge about the symptoms of depression which are being enlisted below.

●      An utter feeling of sadness engulfing the individual which can be deducted from his or her facial expression.

●      Loss of appetite weight loss.

●      Increased fatigue in the individual and lack of energy and alertness.

●      Expression of feeling guilty or unworthy of anything.

●      Difficulty in decision making or concentrating.

●      Thoughts of suicide or self-harm which can lead to fatality.

Unfolding the causes of depression

Unlike what most people might have to say, depression is a lot different from general grief or sadness. It is an intense feeling of emptiness and bereavement that refuses to detach from the individual. When the aforementioned symptoms last for at least a span of two weeks or longer, it can be diagnosed that the person is suffering from depression. There are numerous depression causal agents as human psychology is one of the most mysterious subjects you can ever come across. We are listing some of the major causes of depression:

●      Genetic cause- yes, it might sound unbelievable but depression does pass on from one generation to the other. The risk factor of genetic depression is quite high and cannot be ignored.

●      A chemical imbalance of the brain- if there is an imbalance in the neurotransmitters in the brain, then it might initiate depression in the individual.

●      Female hormone imbalance- In cases like pregnancy and polycystic ovarian syndrome, female hormones like estrogen and progesterone can mess with the brain functioning and cause depressing phases like postpartum depression.

●      Depressing life events- in case of events like death or disease of beloved ones, it is highly likely that depression can set in.

Ways to reduce depression:

If you see any of your near and dear ones suffering from depression, here are some of the methods you can use which can contribute to reducing depression:

1.     Meditation- meditation, instead of medication is a great healer of depression. If a person can meditate for at least ten minutes a day, he or she can slowly come out of the grip of depression.

2.     Exercise - exercise can freshen the mind and help in the balance of brain chemicals thus eliminating depression.

3.     Counseling- find a good counselor and let him talk to the patient. It is sure to be helpful in reducing depression.

In a nutshell, depression, no matter how fiery it is, is a curable mental disorder and with proper medication and treatment, it can be eliminated once and for all.

 - Via Pritha

Dealing With Anger in Love and Relationships

People often believe that the relationship between anger and love is very close when it comes to human relationships. They say, ‘you only get angry with the people you love!’

However, in more practical situations, the crucial question exists – Is anger good in relationships?

The answer is NO.

Effects of Anger on Relationships

It is never a happy feeling to be around a loved one who is angry with you. It ruins the whole vibe of being with them. At the same time, anger in love is also an inevitable feeling. As couples grow closer, they become more comfortable and open to sharing their emotions, of which, anger could also be a part. Unfortunately, explosive anger may result in saying or doing things that can cause damage to the relationship. On the other hand, implosive anger may fester into resentment, which ultimately spells doom for the relationship.

Dealing With Anger

The best way to tackle the issue is by decoupling the relationship between anger and love so that it is unacceptable to be angry with your loved ones. We need to stop taking our loved ones for granted and should treat them with respect. It is a challenge to be dealing with anger, whether it is anger towards the partner or anger towards yourself. But here are a few healthy ways that can actually help!

Think Before Speaking

Anger is comparable to insanity – a condition where you go beyond logic. Thus, it is quite plausible that you may end up saying something that you do not mean and/or will resent later. So the best way to avoid such a situation is by counting up to 10 before saying anything. This tip will help you choose your words carefully.

Address the Issue

The next step to fix anger in love is by addressing the root cause of it. It is not necessary that you begin talking about it almost immediately once the anger has simmered down. In fact, it is advisable to do so when you are both calm. Begin a healthy dialogue and replace all the “you” statements with “I feel” statements. For example, instead of saying “Why didn’t you…?” use “I feel upset that….”

Be an Active Listener

Much like you, your partner would also want to be heard and vent out their negative emotions. The best way to make them feel better when they do it is by being an active listener. Repeating what you have understood and heard makes your partner feel better as it affirms their feelings. Additionally, it also reflects that you are legitimately listening to their woes rather than getting defensive.

Bridge the Gaps

Bridging gaps could include finding a middle path where you can both agree. Agreeing to a compromise that works for both of you means actively practicing empathy. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and relate with their emotions. This empathy will help you reach a greater understanding, thereby offering a viable solution to the problems.

Reconnect

Often, anger results in a disconnect between the partners. Once the matter has been sorted, find ways to reconnect with your partner. Physical contacts through the acts of hugging, cuddling, and even having sex can help get over the bitterness caused by anger.

Now that you know that the answer to ‘is anger good in relationships’ is no, you can use these tips to deal with it whenever the unpleasantness shows up. When you can effectively deal with negative emotions such as anger, you are setting out on the path to a happy and prosperous relationship for life!

- Via Apurva

What Fear actually is?- An illusion or reality? (part-2)

F.E.A.R. is rightfully stated as False Evidence Appearing Real is a fantasy produced by our mind into tricking us to believe in a false outcome that may cause harm to you and your surroundings.

And yet we let our brain trick us into believing that this illusion is anything but that.

Fear will freeze you, frighten you. It will hold you back in the fantasy where whatever worst outcome you might imagine happen will actually come to pass. It holds us in a state where we feel that what we imagine is as real to us as anything that’s actually happened and giving up to your fears causes paranoia of different kinds.

Fear arises from the darkest parts of our imagination, the pieces that do not know how to trust, and hence, even if your mind knows that it is an illusion, this part of your imagination does not let you trust that fact.

How to overcome your fears?

Buddha said, “All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we create our world.” This simply means our thoughts create our fear. We are intelligent beings, we know how to control our behavior, hence, it might not be that tough a task to control your thoughts and direct them into overcoming our fears and paranoia. When you start to believe of yourself as the harbinger of negative outcomes, you become a victim to your fear fantasies. To sidestep your fears, you must convince yourself of the opposite of the negative thoughts that roam in your mind feeding off of your precious moments of life.

Fears are caused when you step outside of your comfort zone, so whenever you do be prepared for an attack by your fears, but step out of your comfort zone anyway, relax your mind with the fact that this feeling is just caused by the alarm of stepping into an unfamiliar zone or the terror of a bad outcome, and you will feel the fear fluidly flow out of your body.

If fear is an illusion, something must definitely be causing it. Ask yourself, what it is? Move your fear into the light. Bringing it under the microscope without hesitations and shedding light on it, trying to understand it will take you to a better place. This might be hard, as no-one wants to dissect what causes them to shake in terror and it might not help you overcome these fears, however, this will help you understand them and in future control your responses to them.

Next, make a plan of action. Once you know what the challenge is and you have brought it out in the open, then it is time to act on how to control them. Small positive steps in the right direction are all that is required to work on the fear factor. Once you have taken these steps, and you will close to some gaining a semblance of control on your fears, this will help you relax more and make you feel much lighter. To overcome your fears you need to develop goals to which you are committed in your life more than any desire and then and only then the barrier of fears put forth in your way to achieving those goals will be of no value. You need to investigate a workable plan of action that works best for you in controlling your fears.

After setting up a plan of action you must take some baby steps such as visualize yourself carrying out the things you fear the most in life. Visualize it to be as true as possible. Keep in mind that the subconscious cannot differentiate between what is real and what is imaginary, it just processes the data fed to it. This is how you begin to program the subconscious mind to overcome your fears then it is just a matter of time before you turn it to reality.

Before getting to verdict of this post, have you gone through our previous explanation of fear? Still not? Then go and check it out here.

I personally believe that overcoming fear is a not a god given skill but one that needs to be taught and honed sharply. Yes, it takes time because you are reprogramming your brain to remain calm when faced by distressful and alarming situations, Nevertheless, the joy, adrenaline and the euphoria that you feel when you realize that you have actually managed to overcome some of the biggest fears makes all of the commitment of fighting them worth the effort. It’s like Bungee Jumping or Skydiving, once you overcome the fear of the initial jump, its pure euphoria, and fun. Finding it in you to read this far and taking consideration of my suggestions you have already sent the wheel rolling. Just works on the steps mentioned above and move forward. I hope you overcome these illusions and feel the emotions that lie past your war against them.

Safe travels to you in this endeavor!

-Via Hamza

Finding positivity is real spirituality

Being spiritual is not something getting filtered off, its related to self-realization, self-growth through self-insights. It’s negotiation with self-“KARMA” for gaining incisive spirituality. What we really want from self? So many times we have heard the Karma does but what exactly thy Karma is? Is Karma is what we do? For understanding the basic concept of spirituality we have to go through the Karma too. And the answer to the very questions lies in the same.

Definitely whatever we do is Karma either intentionally or unintentionally. Still, when we do all the things according to ethics and mannerism of human nature, why we get poignant after doing all good from us? The answer is the intentions behind our deeds is the only responsible element that depicts and evaluate our Karma and consequences.

When we are sensitive enough to react with the balance of our mind to any situation either good or bad we become a human being rather than human bodies. Similarly, when we react to other peoples without being judgmental and without any expectation we get in the state of equilibrium of spirituality itself.

LOVE is the most pious and universal kind of all the emotions to understand spirituality. It brings us in the state of selflessness where we tend to keep the other person above to self and always pay off ourselves to them. We rectify our deeds and intentions just to make the person/people around us happy and content anyhow.

When a person is capable enough to control its spontaneous reactions and excitement in happiness or sorrow it’s a commendable spiritual soul itself. There are much more grounds and ways to understand the real karma.

Although, everybody has its own definition of spirituality but, to me finding positivity is spirituality. 

We can find positivity through making our insights confident enough to face and take up any situation with no chaos and dilemmas. Also, all such things that distract our minds put us in a situation where we get pissed of and we start searching for some moral support that can positively encourage us. But when we are lonely and hardly find any positive source we need to do it our self by understanding that being positive is the only thing that can bring out us from those giddy situations. Just ensure that what is not in our hands we need to thrush them and need to put our strength and knowledge in a positive direction for better outcomes. Hence, Its somewhere proven that finding positivity is truly being spiritual.

-Via Chanchal

Are you leading a meaningful life- Find out with us

Life is a onetime journey. A journey to many places with the pit stop at the end of time. It is a long trail of mistakes, achievements, emotions, love, betrayal, etc. People say life is unpredictable. But why is it going to be unpredictable when you are planning ahead each and every step of your life. But to be frank, even if you plan ahead, sometimes there will be some slips. When life pushes you down, get up as early as possible on your feet and smile.

Life can be meaningful if you have a goal. A goal to achieve something. It may be a goal in career, getting a car or a new home, starting up a new business, getting your crush to come on a date with you, etc. A person with one focus point will always achieve sooner. It's better to prioritize your goals and start working towards them. There will be some meaning to your life when you wake up every morning saying “today is the day I achieve”.

Life is uncertain. Don't always assume that things will go wrong. Who says you can't be a superman? You can be a double superman. You are the hero of your life story. Keep that in mind and live your life. In my opinion, physical pain is better than mental pain. So skip your sleep, work hard, because crying after failing is not going to give you anything except a comedown. Don't blame time, live your life meaningfully.

Fill your life with happiness. What is real happiness? Happiness is the feeling when you feel content. Yes, I have done it. I have fulfilled my life's meaning. Or it can be a feeling when you help others. Most of the people are feeling same as you deep down. Depressed, miserable, heavy-hearted. The only way to come out of it is by helping others. Fill your life with friends and relatives. Don't waste your feelings for someone who don't deserve it.

Live life with what you have. Life is very simple. It's not complicated with trigonometric and algebraic equations like you think. It's within our own mind how we live and how we enjoy this small life of ours. How long are you going to live? Have you lived this past life of yours to the fullest? What's the use in still sitting and thinking and planning for the future? Plan the future with what you have. Don't wish for something that cannot achieve. That will make your life complicated and worse.

Last but not least. Have fun. Yes. Fun. This life of ours is limited. But you can always make it a wonderful journey. Travel to places, make prayers, help friends, live the life to the fullest. And when is your life meaningful? The answer is "when you stop asking this question to yourself". Don't ask is my life meaningful? Have I lived my life meaningful? No. You are not on the edge of death. You still have years or months or even a lot of days to live. Meaningful or not will be the answer from your heart.

-Via Dhivya

Confidence- The key to success

Have you ever felt like a lost cause, like a dried up leaf blowing through the wind? Have you ever envied those who seem to have it all in life, may it be their looks, brains, or their charming personality? The secret that everybody would like to know is HOW? How do they manage a billion tasks at hand with such grace and successful outcomes without even complaining?

Confidence, my friend, is the key to obtaining everything and gaining admiration for every project you undertake.  If one is confident about his abilities and believes in himself then there’s no stopping him from having his way in life. Some tips have been shared in the following for you to upgrade your game a little and give those perfectionists a little competition of your own.

1.     FOCUS ON YOUR WANTS RATHER THAN ON YOUR DON’T’S:

I’ve seen people including myself getting worked up on how they “don’t want” situations to turn out rather than focusing on how they “should” turn out.  Taking academics as an example, students are mostly seen stressing over bad grades rather than working hard to avoid them. My point is if one defines his wants and shows consistency while working towards their goal then he certainly can make it happen. I mean hard work always pays you back, right?

2.     NO ONE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN YOURSELF:

I know how people always tell you that you can achieve everything you want by pushing yourself harder, expanding your horizons and testing your potentials etc. Well, I won’t disagree with their advice completely and as much as their concern is appreciated, it is important that they consider that they’re demanding all of this from a person who’s feeling worthless and has zero motivation for productivity.
You know what you’re capable of and it’s important that you believe in yourself rather than pressurizing yourself to do better. You will excel in life but timely. Identify situations and see whether you have the ability to change its outcome or not.  Previously, I saw a video of a priest telling people that there’s literally no use worrying about situations you can’t control. There’s nothing to worry about even if you can change them and this hit me hard. We human beings tend to stress a lot over irrelevant things, no?

3.     PLANNING IS EVERYTHING!

It isn’t humanly possible to address a task or problem at hand all at once. Go a little easy on yourself and break it down into simple, easy steps so that you get to celebrate and appreciate your small yet significant accomplishments. This would help boost your confidence and also provide exposure to uncertain circumstances that would help shape your skills.

4.     INDULGE YOURSELF IN ROLE PLAY:

This might sound crazy but it does wonders for me. I imagine myself in specific situations and pretend that I’m having with a dialogue with the people in it. This helps practice my communication skills and prepares me beforehand. The other person, impressed by my efficient cognitive processes and creativity will most certainly consider my proposal or anything else that I would have to share with them.

5.     ADAPT  TO UNEXPECTED SITUATIONS:

It’s essential that you shake hands with the workings of the universe and understand that given the power to exert control over certain situations, things may not always be congruent with your expectations.  If things didn’t work out this time, doesn’t mean they won’t ever. Never be afraid to adapt to change! A confident person never cries over spilled milk but instead, he does something to clean something and start pouring a fresh glass for himself.
Just revise your strategies; invest yourself in your goal and one day you’ll look back and feel proud of yourself for having steered your ship out of the stormy seas.

-Via Zoha

PERFECTION- A LIE

The short life that I’ve lived so far has made me realize that we all are wheeling towards achieving the impossible. We’ve become runners of a race that has no finish line. We’re constantly battling against those who are more beautiful, richer, talented and popular. We’ve indulged ourselves so that we’re totally missing out on celebrating the small yet significant things in our life.

Do you celebrate your so-called average test marks? Do you celebrate when somebody compliments you? I highly doubt it. Why? Because everyone these days wants more. More marks, more appreciation, more money, a higher position or a social status and the list stretch as long as you want it to. Everyone is competing with everyone. Competition is separate and is definitely something healthy but only until one doesn’t start obsessing over it.

We start setting our standards so high that they become impossible to achieve. What happens next is that you develop a disappointment, which leads to mental and physical exhaustion, frustration and eventually you break down. It’s only when you reach old age do you realize how you’ve wasted your life over meaningless things when you could’ve easily made it with whatever you already owned. It is then when you start questioning your previous decisions.

Why is it actually so that we experience this urge to surpass other people in order to be happy? Why can’t we be just satisfied with the looks that we have and the grades and social status that we can easily achieve? Primarily, it’s because we feel the need to be acknowledged, accepted and admired by the people around us. This isn’t wrong but one shouldn’t lose himself in its pursuit. Those who excel in whatever they do are exemplified. All-rounders are what we call them. They are the standard that all must achieve.

Also, with us approaching the digital age, the need to be perfect is being constantly promoted by social media. People have put their oh so perfect lives on display so others can idealize them. We deem them as flawless personalities because we take away their privilege of being or having a real life. We forget that while a nice camera and a skilled photographer may manipulate the impression people have of them, it cannot stop life from challenging them repeatedly. These people have just simply mastered the art of showing off the brighter side of their lives to people. 

Sadly, the world today is a monotonous place where individuality is rarely found. What we need to understand is that there is no such thing as perfection. There is the only improvement which can be brought about with a considerable amount of effort and a determined attitude and that is what one should aim for.

-Via Zoha

Heal Your Relationship with these Techniques

Do you fight most of the time? Do you realize that the relationship has hit the rock bottom line? You might be thinking how to work on it. To have fought in a relationship is normal.  You might notice the changes in your relationship during the hard times and good times. The relationship that lasts for long is the one where you find enough care and love for each person and support each other during their difficult times. If you are looking for broken healing relationship techniques?  Then this topic will guide you through it.

Methods to Heal Relationships

1.     Pink Light Technique:  one of the most powerful techniques used in today’s world is the Pink light technique. This technique is used to heal a relationship. This is also used to cure all pain and sufferings in a relationship. Here are the steps listed

·        Select a cool place that will make you fall in love with the place

·        Imagine a picture in your mind’s eye of Pink Loving Light that is emitted from your heart and surrounds yourself in the pink sphere.

·        To be inside your pink sphere and hold on to the most amazing memories of your life and imagine it outside of the pink light. Cover your memory within the Pink Loving Light

·        Next, start with your family members and bring each person in front of you outside of the Pink Light Sphere. Try to remember the loving memories of them. Cover the person inside the pink light and move to the next person.

·        Get the person into the picture with whom you are discomfort follow the same instruction as above

·        Next, bring the person into your mind’s eye anyone whom you know or don’t know and covers them within the Pink loving light and allow them to go.

2.     The Bubble Technique: The process starts by drifting the person to sleep. Once the person is drifting off to sleep, he needs to imagine a big bubble, the bubble should fit almost 10 people inside it. Now imagine that this bubble is floating up in the sky during the night and keep watching it, you will notice that the bubble is moving higher and higher. Now consider that you are weightless and you are floating up in the bubble, you will get an amazing feeling of floating in space and drifting and feels connected to the world. As you move towards the bubble a bubble door opens for you and you step inside it. Inside the bubble, you find a clean and clear floor with two chairs faced towards each other. Take your place and sit on it and have a watch over the world below you through that glass bubble.

Now time to invite a person to sit on the vacant chair, the person could be anyone with whom you are discomfort or difficulty or want to build a good relationship. Now from the bubble, you see that the person is moving over the bubble and comes to the bubble door. Now invite him by opening the door and make him sit on the chair, start the conversation by expressing and why you called them here. Speak everything out of your heart and be honest. Allow the conversation to take place stay calm and relax.


-Via Nidhi Goel