Practicing Apathy and Denouncing A Judgmental Attitude

Life is sometimes best described as an absolute roller coaster. It sometimes reaches the highest of highs and sometimes, takes us to the lowest of lows. Neither is an unchanging state of happiness favored nor should it be desired for it is through suffering and struggle that we learn the greatest lessons of life. These are the same lessons that take us forward when we look back at all the tough times we have passed and smile, feel proud at our fortitude, and move on. This is to say that is best that you don't judge people by one season. Be it positive or negative, failure or success, happiness or sadness, one season or a phase in a person's life is much like reading one page in a book and judging it to be either brilliant or bad.

Our time in this world is limited; it is marked and accounted for at every breath we take. It is on us to make the best of it for as everyone says, time never stops for anyone. The forward motion of time compels us to keep moving forward no matter what we experience. Even though time is universal, it is also highly subjective. Time changes for everyone and brings forth a new set of perspective, outlook, and eventually, a whole new self. Science has proved evolution of man and we have all seen pieces of evidence of that. It is the evolution of our individual selves that often goes unnoticed by most people and sometimes even by our own selves. Do we tend to judge people on the based on generic metrics even though we know that every person is distinct in their own characters? If yes, what defines this metric and who decided it?

Let us explain this with the help of a simple example. You know how everyone always says that we should be judging a book by its cover'? That is because a single sheet of graphic, painting, text, or design cannot encapsulate all that the book holds. The quick judgement we make of that book, terming it as 'good' or 'bad' is no more than a judgement when it should have been an informed opinion. This also applies to people. When we meet a person at a certain period of time they may be going through a great phase in life or a pathetically low one. Whatever it may be, it is still a phase and as we know, phases of life come and go. Hence, it is not only wrong but also morally wrong to judge a person instead of forming an informed opinion about them.

But, what happens when we misjudge people? Do we hurt them? Yes, we do. Not only do we hurt their emotions but, depending on where they are in that present phase in life, hurt their confidence and self-esteem. We as humans have the power of both cruelty and apathy. It is up to us whether we wish to wield the former of the latter. Cruelty here does not imply physical cruelty but moral cruelty that e have so un-apologetically adopted in the present day when what we really need is apathy. Apathy brings us closer to people and prevents us from forming judgments of a person based on just one season of their life.

In order to practice apathy, you can practice a simple habit. This can be explained with the example of a regular activity such as buying a book. Next time you go to a bookstore, make sure you buy the book not based on the judgement you arrive at looking at the cover, but by actually taking a peek into it and investing the time to read a little about the story it has to tell.

RECONCILE YOUR WOUNDS WITH HEALING

Humans are the only creatures to be addressed as human “beings”, as we are the only species that have norms of how to be and how not to be.  We know that we have six senses and unlike other animals we are the only species that could think.  Thinking is as disastrous as much as it is beneficial.  No dog or cat is gonna sit and cry over backstabbing or split ups in relationships or vulgar words that pierce the heart so deep. We live with our heart and mind more than our body. 

We love with all our hearts and that’s why they hold scars much more than our bodiesdo.  These scars are mostly etched by our near and dear ones whom we love and trust which make it so deep that they cause pain rather than healing like any other scar that happens on your body physically.  When you get hurt mentally, the wound becomes more complicated to heal as there are no chemical drugs that can make that pain vanish.  Healing of a wound in heart is different from the process of healing of a wound in body. Each and every person should the different types of healing processes that he should carry out when he gets hurt so that psychological complications could be avoided for a better cause.

PREVENT YOURSELF FROM GETTING HURT, STOP MUSTERBATING.

I know now you are like “wait, what?”Lol.  I am talking about musturbation (Not the other one with “A” instead of “U”). Every human who is getting hurt very often is musterbating himself without knowing it and that is the foremost cause of losing happiness.

“Musterbation” is a term coined by American psychologist Albert Ellis. He says if you have things that make you get angry, frustrated or upset you, 99% of the time you have a “must” or “ought” or “should” in your mind.   Eg: He must talk to me politely, She should be loyal to me etc… which will end up in musterbating and should-ing ourselves.  People always do what they want no matter what you think.  So Yeah be careful in choosing your must(s)…should(s)…whatsoever…  Otherwise you would end up arguing with reality which will obviously make you feel disappointed.

HEALING DEEP WOUNDS AND SCARS

Generally speaking, as much as physical health is concerned scars are sign of recovery and are considered better than bleeding wounds but psychologically scars are dreadful incidents whose pain does not cease.

Learn to be brave and to forgive and forget. Accept your mistakes instead of arguing and blaming. These make relationships stronger after a fight instead of break ups.  This might be hard but will help you live a happy and peaceful life for sure.

-via Nidhi Goel